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04/08/2020

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Jorpy

This article is like my butt in the following ways:
1.) It is stinky, and unwashed.
2.) It's round and absolutely perfect in its firmness
3.) It is vaguely shaped like the silhouette of Bella Abzug
4.) I love it like a brother, sister and father figure
5.) It naturally repels paraffin wax
6.) I also love YOU
Thank you,
Bumpy Frederick, Jr.

Fruit Sandwich

Yes, I absolutely drive a jalopy. Does it affect my ability to objectively rate the supercartoonists? Frankly? Yes. One time, I ordered a hot beef and cheese sandwich and one of the onions sort of looked like R. Crumb. I had a long conversation with it, but then the store guy told me I had to leave or he was going to call the cops. I told him to try it, but by the time I realized what was going on, I was already back on the bus. The bus guy said that we were at the end of the line so I had to suspend the interview. My agent says we may never get to the bottom of the whole thing.

Jorge Jorge

My adolescence was crumb…ish. I loved comic books - all the “culture” I had by that time came from it. That’s why I could always understand his art and his thoughts about women. Since I was not famous like him I never fucked a lot of them. But I fucked enough, though. Hail, Crumb.

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